We Didn’t Get Banned from IACP (this year…)!

Last week was extremely busy here in Chicago due to IACP!  Here’s what they let me do:

Friday night of IACP weekend, I was lucky to be joined by Sgt. Jesse Garcia of Minneapolis Police Department and the lovely Ms. Abigail Baker of Data911, at The Violet Hour.  If you’ve never been to The Violet Hour, it’s a secret speakeasy… the door is literally hidden into a wall of graffiti, beneath a single yellow light.  But once you step inside, everything is larger than life… from the Alice in Wonderland high-backed arm chairs that Tom Petty would’ve loved, to the gigantic light blue ballroom drapes and chandeliers.  The lighting is nil… you’ll have to read the cocktail menu with the flashlight on the end of your stun gun.  But before I keep writing about that to the point of where I try to recreate the Juliet and Romeo drink in my kitchen… let’s get this monologue back on track. I urge you to check out Data911 if your department could stand an upgrade to your in-vehicle computer systems.

Saturday night was the NAUMD reception.  Steve Gilkeson showed up to represent Perfection, in addition to our reps Keith Kleis and Fred Golgart.  Also saw the usual suspects from Fechheimer, 5.11 Tactical, Galls, Lion Apparel, Strong Leather, and many, many more.  I was in charge of the picture-taking.  Whether that is a good or bad thing remains to be determined– here are the pictures that NAUMD has decided are suitable for public viewing:

Following the reception, I went home to go to sleep, but a salesman who shall remain nameless and I decided we should really find a place to get a hamburger.  He brought his demo car from one of his other lines with him—this particular car has lights, sirens, etc, attached.  Ever driven backward down a one way street just to revisit a parking spot?  Those lights do come in handy.

Monday night, we frequented a party given by Taser at Excalibur in the River North neighborhood of Chicago.  I’ve never helped so many complete strangers find their way to the bathroom “just in time.”  And I also felt really proud that I had trained for this event- my vodka on the rocks with a twist o’ lime stayed perfectly intact.

On Tuesday, Mark arrived from Michigan, noticed how everyone else was dressed, and lamented over his own wardrobe selection– a green shirt and brown pants.  He looked like a tree.  In an effort to make him feel better, I pointed out another gentleman who had dressed like a tree.  Special thanks to the guys at Strong Leather who let me hang out in their booth all day.  I had fun selling badge cases and holsters; hopefully, the stuff I made up about their products was fairly accurate.  And in the likely event that it wasn’t, you can read more about them here.

Later that night, we enjoyed dinner at Shaw’s Crab House with Ben, the owner of Chicago Uniforms and by some fortuitous seating arrangement, the gang at Fechheimer (yes, we compete).  For a brief moment, we considered pushing the tables together, but then regained our senses and yelled at one another from separate tables, just like any other dysfunctional family.  Everyone was kind enough to comment on how nice Mark and I looked– Mark, in his eggplant shirt with brown pants and me, in my eggplant and brown dress.  Travis inquired, “What, did you call each other on the phone to coordinate your outfits?”

As a matter of fact… we did.

Faces of Perfection, Part 2

Is anyone attending IACP this year???

Since Mark and I will be walking around IACP next month here in Chicago (and also because we’re having great difficulty rounding up our bashful coworkers for more blog interviews), we thought it would be helpful for you to be able to pick us out from a crowd.  With me, it shouldn’t be too difficult– I’m usually in some competitor’s booth, rifling through their candy dish looking for the good kind of chocolate while trying on their display garments.  I blame it on Astrology– I’ve an Aries Sun, Aries Moon, Leo Rising.  Mark, who happens to be a Virgo and a former cop, knows how to tactfully blend into a crowd.  He is also very well-organized.  And dependable.  I am willing to bet money that he’ll wear a Perfection polo shirt with Perfection pants, and he’ll be clutching a black leather portfolio.

Here we are:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So when you see us, make sure you run up and say “Hi!”

And don’t forget, on Sept 30th– be sure to watch our Facebook posts… we’ll be announcing who wins a brand new copy of The Beat Cop’s Guide to Chicago Eats.  As it stands, my current favorite restaurant here is Prasino’s, located on Division.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Really hope to see you there!

PS: Speaking of trade shows, free candy, and other “swag”… Did you know “SWAG” is actually an acronym for “Stuff We All Get”?  I did not know that until yesterday, when I read the Sunday edition of The New York Times.  Now, I’m equipped to make great conversation.

Conversators and Instigators

Mark and I never listen to the radio while driving to visit customers. I always figured it’s because we would likely not agree on a station.  (Well, maybe NPR…) But now I think it’s because either A) we would miss having interesting conversations or B) Mark would no longer be able to argue with the GPS.

So the other day, we spent a considerable amount of time in the car.  From that, here’s a compilation– our Top Ten list, if you will– of bizarre snippets of conversation:

• There goes Connie’s Pizza.  That sign couldn’t have been any bigger.  Just do a U-turn, right here in the middle of the street.  I don’t care that U-turns are illegal.  Nobody knows that you used to be a policeman.  Make the U-turn already! (me)
• How’d you get a pair of Ray Bans? I know you didn’t buy them because you never spend that kind of money on yourself. Wow! Somebody loved you enough to buy you a pair of Ray Bans. (me)
• You can’t go selling the diamond gusset crotch feature of our shorts to bike cops. Nothing you say or do is gonna make them any more comfortable if they have a banana seat. (Mark)
• Look, I can teach you self-defense. On Wednesday, I’ll show you how to get out of a Full Nelson… Oh, you’re saying, ‘What if he has a baseball bat?’  At your size, you’re screwed.  (Mark)
• When you talk about the Tower of London, of course I know you don’t mean London, Kentucky… No, I don’t know what happened, because I wasn’t there. (me)
• I hope I put the right address into the GPS. I don’t even know where we’re at.  We were in Chicago, but this could easily be North Dakota. (Mark)
• When somebody breaks their arm and the bone protrudes from the skin, how do they make it go back in? (me)
• When you get mad at me, is it fleeting?  Or do you prefer to stew? (me)
• I’m telling your wife… What do you mean “Go right ahead”?  Okay, I won’t tell her. Because you’ve just taken the fun out of it! (me)
• When you said, “Don’t look!” I didn’t know you were talking about the window display at Alliance Bakery.  I was looking at that parking ticket on your windshield:

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bonus material:

• Yes, I know where we’re going.  In fact, I go to this bar all the time. I just never remember what it looks like. (anonymous)
• It’s the middle of summer, so a few fruit flies landed on your food. Some restaurants have rats. You’re overly sensitive. (anonymous)

All of you in Police, Fire, EMS… and of course, Transit (I have stories from the CTA for another post!).  What are some interesting conversations you’ve had while driving? Or while working, in general?

The “real” inspiration for the EGC adjustable waistband…

IACP (International Association of Chiefs of Police) Conference is coming up in October, and this year, it’s in Chicago!  I will never get tired of living in Chicago… it’s a beautiful city with lots to do and plenty to eat.

It’s no secret that I like to eat. In fact, the only reason I punish myself every other morning at the gym is so I can eat like that guy who goes around the country eating hot dogs professionally. If I find an extra $10 in my jeans while doing the laundry, I’m going to J. Wellington’s.  If I’m so blessed to find $20, I’m stopping for a six pack on the way there, since the restaurant is BYOB.  Now that I think of it, I love Chicago pizza more than I’ve ever loved any significant other.  And I’m not alone.  The Boss will call me from across the country at some restaurant just to describe in obscene detail whatever burger he’s eating, as if he were reviewing the thing for the food section of the New York Times.  And unfortunately, The Boss also figures that since he eats food, he’s qualified to cook it as well. I’ve witnessed him cook pasta before, and just to let you know, his Emeril-eque “Bam!” required a fire extinguisher.

Mark is a foodie, too. Having worked as a cop for seven years, he eats like he’s still on the beat.  I’ve been in the car with Mark more times than I care to recount, casing a neighborhood for bakeries.  Last time, we paid a visit to Alliance Bakery here in Chicago.

We got coffee.  And these:

Turtle Brownies. Mark actually got two– one was to take home to his wife.

Alliance Bakery is tiny, as are most Chicago eateries, so we got our stuff to go and went back outside to eat in the car.  I opened the passenger door of Mark’s car, sat down, then the open door became stuck on the sidewalk.  He had to come around to my side of the car and lift up on the vehicle so I could unstick the door. I guess he figured one incredible feat deserved another, so he ate both turtle brownies.  I didn’t say anything, and even if I had’ve… he would’ve made me edit it out of here. (Hint, hint.)

So what’s the point of this food monologue? Well, now you know how Gilky really came up with the idea of an EGC waistband.  And now you know that Mark scares me when he eats and The Boss scares me when he cooks.  But on a serious note, we want you to know how much we appreciate YOU, our wonderful fans, by giving away a new copy of Beat Cops’ Guide to Chicago Eats, which is a field guide– one cop’s assessment of the best places to eat in the Windy City.

In words stolen from my mentor, Joe Janes, who pens beautiful ten minute plays… after reading this book, you’ll know which restaurants are worthy of sliding into a booth and saying, “Helen? Helen! Bring me a dessert so heartbreaking, it’ll make me miss the train!”

To be entered in the drawing for this fabulous food guide, simply become our fan on:

Winner of the book will be announced on the last day of September!

PS: And don’t forget to follow us on:

The Faces of Perfection, Part 1

Good morning!  Welcome to June 27th.

We haven’t posted in a bit, so I thought it would be fun to take a moment to show you some of the faces at Perfection Uniforms.

We’ll start with SteveCo:

This is Steve O., aka “The Boss.”  He is one of the owners and takes care of the Operations side of things.  Hobbies include motorcycling, car enthusiasm, wood-working, shirt-collecting, and online shopping for Harley parts.  He’s always good to suggest a company cookout or to initiate summer hours when July rolls around.  As far as bosses go… we’ll keep him.  And now, I must pose the question we’ve all been wanting to ask… Is there anybody on the other end of that phone? 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And here is Steve G., our other owner, who has neither alias nor alibi.  He oversees Marketing and Sales.  He drives a really cool vintage Mustang convertible, has a special place in his heart for a sushi, and has taught me A LOT about innovation.  We’re letting him stay, too.  Especially since he’s already arranged the furniture to his liking.  By the way, Steve also has an amazing ability to text 1,000 wpm, usually in the middle of the night while the rest of the world is sleeping.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Steve O. + Steve G. = SteveCo.

 

AND NOW, MEET OUR MOST VALUABLE ASSETS:

This is Helen.  She is our sewing room supervisor, but she specializes in playing pranks.  Once, she placed silk rose bouquets in water along with some real green stems and made us believe that she was bringing in fresh roses from her garden in the middle of winter.  I would be ashamed to admit all the other stuff we’ve fallen for…  Helen does beautiful work, often customizing uniforms with special epaulets, pocket flaps, buttons, etc.  In fact, she has improved my wardrobe a great deal.  I wish she could survey my outfit every morning before I step out the door, especially since nobody told me that suspender shorts were on the Worst Fashions list back in 2010.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Linda is a very talented seamstress whom we’re very happy to have with us.  She is heavily involved in our wear test program, making sure that the garments go out beautifully pressed and as a nice presentation.  Linda is a lot of fun, has a contagious laugh, and is always good for a prank.  She is also quite the dresser.  With her eye for style, Linda should’ve worked for a fashion manufacturer, but that’s okay because she makes sure our customers look fabulous.  She also lets me know when my clothes need adjustments.  It’s like having a talking mirror, and I love her!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thelma is in charge of shipping.  Thanks to Thelma, orders get to where they need to be~ carefully packaged AND on time.  I love visiting with Thelma back in the warehouse because she always has music on the radio, a stash of snacks, can answer ANY question when I need to know something about FedEx, UPS, or some other carrier, and is a TON of fun.  One of these days, we’re gonna go to a casino together so Thelma can win back all the money that Mark and I have lost.  She knows a method.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You still need to meet Leanne, Grace, Mark, and the others.  They’re a bit photo-shy at the moment, but I’ll get pictures of them sooner or later (i.e., when they least expect it… or, from any online mugshots that result from deep-Googling).

But for now, you’ve seen three of our most valuable assets: OUR EMPLOYEES.

Helen, Linda, and Thelma~ Thank you SO much for what you do.

They let us have a blog!

The uniform world tends to be quite traditional, as a rule.  I borrowed this from Merriam-Webster:

uni·form

adj \ˈyü-nə-ˌfȯrm\

1

: having always the same form, manner, or degree : not varying or variable <uniform procedures>

While the rest of the world was iPhoning like it was 2010, I was still ending a call by snapping my phone back together.  The Boss* used Scotch tape to keep the back affixed to the front of his Blackberry.  How is it that we were the most innovative product developers in the industry, but we were still punching “9″ to dial out?  We were winning awards left and right for stuff like putting polar technologies on opposite sides of fabric, to make one side wick and the other repel… then faxing about it.

So you can imagine how excited Mark and I were when The Boss said we could Facebook and Tweet.  And when he said we could have a blog… I think I said, “Are you sure?”  That was right after Mark fainted.

If Humphrey Bogart were still alive (and sold uniforms, but that’s neither here nor there), he would say we were three drinks behind.  But the good news is, we are catching up!

On a way more serious note, blogs tend to be personal.  In an economic time when people are reluctant to trust companies, we hope this blog will let you see who we are and what we do.  Please bookmark us as one of your ‘favorites’ and stop by often; I think it’s gonna be pretty okay!

~Miranda

P.S.- The Boss and I have matching iPhones now!

* Not Bruce Springsteen. This guy: